The dude abides

I was a bit amused — and somewhat disconcerted — to realize recently that I’m starting to show the signs of hanging out with nearly only guys at work. These guys are all really good pals whom I’ve known now for anywhere from two to five-plus years (one of them was my office mate for four years), and are all about my age and married. It’s not as if there are a ton of ladies on my team to begin with, but for some reason, though said ladies and I are friendly around the halls, we don’t actually spend much social time during the work day (i.e., going to lunch together). Of my three closest guy pals at work, only one of them and I hang out occasionally outside the office, and that’s often with his awesome wife too (hey, Dr. Pistachio!). You’d think that it’d be a wealth of knowledge being imparted to me, the single girl, on a daily basis by these guys, but though they always gamely listen to my whines or ravings about this guy or that guy, they’re sort of lacking in the advice department. When I was heading to an event one night where a guy I was kinda interested in would be there, E said “Don’t dress like a tramp.” D’s advice in general to me was, “Dress sluttier.” I’ve also been advised to randomly sit in cute guys’ laps (which made me think of your constant advice, Julie!!), go up to him and take off my shirt, and all other manner of eye-roll-inducing suggestions. I really should write these nuggets down as the guys hand them out!

Getting to my earlier point, though, I’ve realized that I’ve started using the word “dude” a lot, and dressing even more casually. My standard uniform these days is a T-shirt, zip-up hoodie, blue jeans and Converse sneakers. Of course, bear in mind here that my entire work day is spent mostly at my desk, working on my computer. Plus, I take the bus, and walk to and from the bus stop. So it’s not really logical to wear anything with heels or even anything dressy. I’m always a little cold around the office, so I need some layers, and pretty much all Microsoftees dress just as casually as I do. However, after my little revelation, I’m trying to make more of an effort to dress a little more flatteringly (if that’s a word) once or twice a week. That may mean wearing flats and a nice shirt instead of Chuck Taylor’s and a tee, or longer jeans with low-ish heeled, comfortable boots. One just never knows whom one might run into ’round the halls … I actually got hit on (in my opinion) by a random cute guy in the elevator earlier this week! I’m hoping it’s a sign that my luck in the love department is finally turning the tide …

4 Responses to “The dude abides”

  1. Actually, I don't think your guy friends' advice is that far off… in moderation, of course. I know it sounds shallow, but a little creative dressing and flirting (including touch) goes a loooooong way with most people. ;) Why? It's all about confidence… which most people find sexy. Just my 2 cents! :)

  2. The touching I'm not so good with — it's an Indian thing! — but I'm at least trying to be better about dressing better once in a while. At least, on a couple social occasions with ABB, I did girlie it up a bit (and then was distracted by my own cleavage all night! I'm not used to it being all out there like that!!).Overall, I think I give off a pretty confident vibe.. things go downhill a bit once I start dating someone more seriously, but who knows when or if that'll become an issue anytime soon. I need to work on my "skillz" in that department, but at the same time, I want a guy who's got a wellspring of patience and understanding to help me through it!

  3. Indian thing, really? I want to hear more about that in person. ;) The image of you being distracted by your own cleavage is actually pretty funny, hehe. :)

  4. Haha, well, I just hope I wasn't too obvious! I kept seeing this expanse of light brown in my lower peripheral vision (if such a thing exists??), and would look down and be like, "Oh shoot! That's right!" As soon as ABB left, I fastened up my cardigan ;o)Yes, the Indian thing.. we're not so touchy-feely. I can't remember the last time I hugged any of my family members in a non-mocking way ("Loooook, we're HUGGGING!!!"), haha. But we're all like that, so it works.

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